In a stunning display of selective procrastination, office worker Dave Williams has declared that all work-related issues are to be dealt in 2024, conveniently sidestepping all the unresolved 2022 work-related problems still on his to-do list.

With a remarkably optimistic outlook, Dave confidently asserted, “Yeah, that sounds like a 2024 problem!”

Having already mentally clocked off as soon as December 1st rolled around, Dave has long forgotten his inbox filled with unanswered emails, unfiled reports, and “please advise”.

Dave’s ability to effortlessly overlook his mounting workload is really starting to piss off his colleagues, who have had to take on his work-load.

One noted, “Fuck Dave is really starting to piss me off, every time I ask him to do something he comes back to me with ‘sounds like a 2024 problem’”

“I know he’s just wiggling his mouse when he’s WFH to make it look like he’s online” another added.

When asked about his strategy for postponing all 2023 tasks, Dave cryptically responded, “You can’t expect me to actually do any work during the silly season?!”

More to come.


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