Chaos erupted on the streets of Betoota today when an unsuspecting British man on a working holiday, Gareth Morgan (29), triggered not one but two car crashes with his blindingly white veneers. The incident has left many Australians wondering why pommy blokes with a bit of money are so obsessed with making their teeth look so artificially white.

Gareth is a self described dream chaser and travel lover, despite only traveling to Ibiza, Cyprus and Australia’s east coast. Born and raised in the humble town of Slough, just outside of London, Gareth knew he was destined for bigger things and after a failed career in club promotion in the streets of Ibiza, has found everything and more in Australia.

Although no one was hurt in the double car crash, one storefront was destroyed and 2 vehicles were damaged beyond repair.

Gareth says it’s not the first time it has happened.

“When I was out with the lads I made a bus crash, it’s the best compliment ever when you think about it.”

“Have you seen these things? you need sunglasses for ‘em, after my promotion at the recruitment agency It was the first thing I got, like lots of Brits my teeth were shocking and it’s something I’ve always wanted.” He said.

Witnesses at the scene describe Gareth’s pearly whites as something out of a sci-fi movie.

“You know in movies when the UFO lands and the doors open and all the humans are blinded by the light? yeah, it was just like that.” Said Josh Heffernan (27) a witness at the scene.

The incident has sparked a fierce debate among Australian lawmakers, with some suggesting that a “Pommy Veneer Vetting System” should be established to ensure that British peoples veneers cannot exceed a certain level of whiteness.

“We can’t have Pommy blokes blinding our drivers with their overzealous oral hygiene,” said local representative, Rowan Singh (38).


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