NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has held an emergency meeting between all MPs within her government this morning, to see if there are any more useless rural dissidents who want to question her leadership in the midst of this global pandemic that she appears to be handling quite well, when compared to literally any other government in the entire world.

The NSW Liberal National coalition was saved from collapse this morning after Deputy Premier John Barilaro was forced to swallow his pride, after one of the most spectacular bed shits since Peter Dutton thought he was going to become Prime Minister.

Barilaro reneged on his threat to stop supporting Government legislation over the state’s koala protection policy, because he’s worried that developers farmers are going to lose the power to kill any marsupials that are still inconveniently alive in the NSW bushlands that weren’t destroyed by bushfires.

After a short meeting with Gladys Berejiklian, it became clear to Mr Barilaro that the Premier was more than willing to call his bluff, and the embattled Deputy crawled back into the cage, which is will not leave until it is next rattled.

This comes as a relief to the people of New South Wales, who thought they might have to experience a change in government in the middle of a pandemic – or worse yet – experience a change in cabinet that might see someone like Don Harwin appointed Minister for Agriculture.

John ‘Pork’ Barilaro has agreed that his MPs would not move to the crossbench, after learning that if they were to do that, they would not be able to take their ministerial titles with them, which was obvious to anyone but him and his delusional cronies.

At the meeting this morning, Gladys was reportedly asking if “any more bush drunk morons wanted to have a crack?”

“Any of youse? Huh?”

“I’ll squeeze a bit of lemon on this grilled barra If I have to”

“You wanna see me go full North Ryde?”

“Same goes for any of you Christian Right nutcases. I’ll bomb you too”

“Now get back to your desks and do some fucken work”



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