As the subject of tattoos is broached around a family Christmas table today, a local Fitzroy girl’s attempt to capture the room with her new piece of wrist ink has failed abysmally, The Advocate can report.

Gathered around a long backyard trestle table in Moonee Ponds, it’s believed Charlotte Martin-Robinson (29) had attempted to impress all 30 members of her extended family with a show and tell of what she picked up on her European summer travels.

Sporting the infinity circle on her wrist, Charlotte had only just begun to explain how a week in Paris had convinced her to return to Australia to start a sculpting degree, when her story was rudely interrupted by her cousin Trent from Geelong.

“Yeah I got some new shit this year too!” Trent bellowed, as he propped his leg up onto the table, narrowly avoiding toppling over a plate of prawns in the process.

“Finally got this whole thing finished off!”

Flaunting a fully sick leg sleeve made up of a lion, some skulls and a snarling cobra, Trent began to explain how several days in the chair was certainly worth it.

“Jeez mate, how much did that cost ya!” piped up Uncle Trevor, who himself has a few old blue tatts on his chest and upper arms from his days in the military.

“Wow that would’ve hurt!” gasped Charlotte’s snobby dad Michael, who secretly hates his daughter’s new bit of French waffle on her wrist.

“They don’t mind you having that at work do they darl?” asked Aunty Wendy (55), a primary school principal who rarely sees such inquisitive leg sleeves in the wild.

“Nah yeah, got the full thing finished last week. It cost me an arm and a leg ha ha” said Trent proudly.

“I’m getting my back done next so when we visit Nan in the nursing home tomorrow I have to ask her about our family crest, I’ll need her to dig it out for me!”

More to come.


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