A marketing manager from our town’s most English enclave has today confirmed that he’s actually not in the mood.

The normally chirpy Londoner has admitted he’s not feeling his proper self this morning, after a relatively large weekend.

Rolling out of a morning stand up WIP where he failed to disclose that he was at the Betoota Beach Club from 3pm on Saturday until exactly 7:54am on Sunday, Alistair Williams told The Advocate that he’s not checking his group chats for the next couple of days.

“No, look, I’m pretty good with the banter, but, but, but sometimes you Aussies just carry on,” said the perennially sunburnt man.

“You’re so good at dishing it out, but you can never ever cop it when the shoes on the other foot,” explained the man who seemingly thinks Australia wins every single World Cup, not just Cricket and Netball.

“All the boys are piling on after the weekend’s results, and it’s not even clever or funny banter,” explained Williams, who has already called his mates convicts 6 or 7 times in the last 24 hours.

His comments follow a pretty tough weekend from the English, after a horrendous pumping in the Cricket World Cup was followed up by a heart breaking loss to the Saffas in the Semi Final of the Rugby World Cup.

The Rugby loss was even tougher for the local toff, given his side had nearly pulled off the perfect ambush against the South Africans, leading for 78 minutes before a deep penalty from Handre Pollard sunk the side.

“I don’t normally like to complain about the refereeing, but that was atrocious,” continued Williams, not doing himself any favours.

“Some of the non calls were mind-boggling, and don’t get me started about the cheating at the scrum.”

“Anyway, I’m running off the back of no sleep, depleted endorphins and I’ve had enough.”

It’s not known how long the banter free zone will last, but it’s alleged the inevitable sharing of a Piers Morgan clip could cause the pile on to kick off again any minute now.


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