As the only 130 kilogram black man in his wife’s entire extended family, local Kiwi, AJ Lepepe knows he’s already going to have a polarising presence at their annual boozy Christmas lunch next week. That’s the way he likes it.

He says he loves standing out, especially when it comes to talking about things that Aussies don’t like to talk about. The success of the New Zealand All Blacks.

“They are good people. They love me like one of their own, but they are such staunch Wallabies fans. It’s an annual blow up that we can’t avoid”

“Its the All Blacks. They can’t handle it… Which I love. I could be as pale as Rachel’s cousins from Tassie and they still would tell me to fuck off back to New Zealand”

AJ’s brother-in-law, Jim, says his daughter’s husband is a good bloke but when it comes to rugby he’s just another fucking loudmouth Kiwi.

“It drives me fucking mad. He knows that too,”

“I’d have a bit less of an issue with it if I had any ground to stand on, as a Wallabies supporter, but I don’t. He just lays it on”

Last Christmas it was believed AJ and Rachel’s cousins from Toowoomba argued about Richie McCaws unorthodox manner of talking to referees for a record of five-and-a-half hours in the pool shed while chain-smoking cigarettes.

“It doesn’t matter what you think” roared AJ.

“Look at the stats!”

“Unbeaten at eden park since 1994!”

AJ says this Christmas he’s got some very niche, but undeniably impressive stats to rattle around.

“First rugby championship going 6 from 6 bonus point victories in 2016” he says with a smile.

“This is gonna be so fucking good”


  1. Robo – the previous paragraph “I could be as pale as Rachel’s cousins from Tassie” probably explains everything ….. 😛


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