LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After convincing himself he is going to get a headstart on his 2021 resolutions or something as equally pathetic, local man Domonic Mycock (27) has decided to try and cook a healthy meal at home.
Living independently in an era of detrimental convenience, Mycock is usually able to avoid cooking a healthy meal at home, choosing to order sushi or go without eating, depending on how close to payday he is.
It wasn’t until he reassessed the state of his personal finances, and the world at large, that he realised he needed to begin to save money on takeaway and learn basic self-care ahead of the apocalypse.
Consulting with a vegetarian cookbook he once received during an office Kris Kringle, Mycock decided to make himself a greeny yellow kinda curry with the ‘hope’ he could have the leftovers for lunch.
An hour later Mycock had completed his dinner serving and found his entire seasoning selection lacked the ability to turn his glut of warm, flavourless ingredients into something he’d actually enjoy.
“At least there’s a lot of it.”
After finishing his dinner with the vigour of a death row inmate, Mycock proceeded to fill every plastic container he had available full of the taste bud numbing rice mixture despite the fact he didn’t look forward to ever eating it again.