WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The canon on the back of a local motor vehicle has today been identified as the leading cause of neighbourly aggravation in Betoota Heights.
Famous for making an incredible loud noise, the exhaust on Brett Daniels’ Toyota Hilux has been confirmed as the suburban equivalent of a farmhouse rooster.
The correlation between the noisy bird and the vehicle relates in part to the fact that both seem to cause an absolute fucking ruckus at the crack of dawn – or even before it.
It’s also believed there is a strong link between the birdly male and human male desire to assert authority by loudly flaunting their ability to make noise.
Signalling the fact that some people are getting up to start the day, Daniel’s Hilux is heard trumpeting off every week day morning between the hours of 5-6am (depending upon where the big fella’s job is that day).
Similar to a farmhouse rooster, the roaring early morning noise has the habit of waking up everyone in within a 500-1000 metre radius.
“Every. Fucking. Morning,” sighed one of Brett Daniels neighbours named Kylie Leong.
“I live for a future utopia where all vehicles are electric and we don’t have to listen to blokes with extremely loud utes accelerating out of a cul-de-sac early in the morning.”
“Somedays I fantasise about slashing his tires during the night and waking up fresh as a daisy at 6:30 or 7am.”
“But, that’s just a pipe dream at the end of the day.”
“I can’t even get payback playing loud music at like 10pm at night cause he’s just passed out on the couch, and totally dead to the world.”
“It is, what it is.”