LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A fun Christmas game of sardines seems to be taking place in the home of Betoota grandparents Noel and Val Kirk as all their descendents aged between 15 and 30 seem to be spending a bit of time ducking in and out of the dunny.

For empty nesters like Noel and Val, Christmas is a joyous time to share their wealth with their children, grandchildren and potential great grandchildren (hint, hint) who fill their home with smiles, laughter and a profoundly fulfilling sense of life well lived.

Unfortunately for some family members aged 15-30, Christmas is the slowest cash transaction possible, often served with a disheartening slice ‘so what’s happening in your life?’.

Luckily, these youngins are alive during the time of vaping which is scientifically acknowledged to be the most relaxing way to do irreparable damage to your lungs.

While many of the young vapers are fine to boof away at home, doing it in front of nan and pop is a surefire way to be denied pavlova later which prompted the vapers to go full Proctor and have their vapes on the toilet.

“Just needed to go off for a hit before I explain to nan Jess isn’t coming this year because we broke up,” stated one 20 something family member. 

“I’m the opposite couz,” stated a teenage cousin sucking down on a tube of black ice.

“She’s about to find out I have a girlfriend. Or at least she’ll be pretending to find out.”

Before our reporting team could receive further comment from the vapers, a rhythmic knock on the door signalled it was time for the vapers to change over.

“Come on guys, get out. Pop just found out I’m doing art full time next year.”

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