The philosophical leaders of the sporting world have today moved to remind everyone about a thing of great importance.

Following Australia’s victory over India in a thrilling World Cup final, the English have spent the last few hours reminding everyone who the greatest team on the face of the earth actually are.

“Forget that game last night,” said English spokesperson Piers Morgan.

“The real champions of the world are the upholders of humanity, the English cricket team.”

Despite being responsible for multiple racism scandals due to the fact their game is run by toffs, the English have been at pains this year to inform the cricketing world that they are actually the arbiters of morality.

That quest to uphold the spirit of the game means that they have won multiple moral victories, including being the winners of the Moral World Cup.

Similar to the Moral Ashes, the Moral World Cup is run conjointly to the less important Cricket World Cup.

The tournament always seems to see the English win, as a result of them taking a stance on whatever they feel aggrieved by when the lose the On Paper Game of cricket they are playing.

While they were knocked out in the group stages of this year’s On Paper World Cup, the English have headed back to their rainswept lands with a huge moral victory.

As Piers Morgan told The Advocate; “You can stick your stupid World Cup Trophy. You are a bunch of cheats and convicts. Another moral victory for the greatest country on earth is what we are celebrating right now.”

More to come.


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