RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

They said it couldn’t be done.

They said a real world construction could never live up to the idealistic utopia of the initial artist’s impression.

But who are ‘they’ and what do ‘they’ really want?

It doesn’t matter because minds have been blown today as the architects who designed the new Coburg Station spent the morning showing our reporters their initial artist’s impressions of what they wanted the station to look like.

And fuck me the Advocate can report that if those initial drawings don’t look exactly like the constructed station building in front of us today, then we’re not a serious newspaper and these aren’t real words you’re reading.

But they do look the same.

And as architect Roger Wood of Wood Marsh Architecture explained to the Advocate with a tear streaming down his soft cheek, never before in the recorded history of city building has a built form actually lived up to the initial artist’s impression.

“It’s like dreams coming to life,” Wood cried solemnly.

Commuters were shocked to view Wood’s images comparing the initial artist’s impression and the now constructed station building, with one Melburnian going as far to say that the station’s coffee shop also served the world’s greatest coffee.

An unrelated yet typical comment one receives from the nobodies who dwell in this cold, grimy grey and ugly metropolis. Usually, the artist’s impression is quickly forgotten once construction commences.

The imagined birds and trees give way to cement boulders and used heroin needles. The sketch of well-articulated facades and high-quality materials are replaced by featureless bulking mass and highly-flammable plastic cladding built using bargain basement construction techniques.

But not this time.

The Victorian Government has officially declared Coburg Station the first of its kind in the country.

To commemorate the achievement, the State has installed a brass plaque of the initial artist’s impression on the side of one of the comfortable bench seatings outside of the station building entrance doors.

It truly is a wonderful sight to behold.


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