LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a world that feels like it’s gone to a movies-set-in-the-60s levels of nicotine addiction, a man who recently ditched the acoustic vapes has found himself enjoying a tobacco edible.
Nicotine addict Nicholas Gernprod (34) claims he has long been flip flopping between the unGodly waft of burnt tobacco & lung drowning grip of vaping for around four years now, using the other to quit the other with a surprising lack of success.
However, Gernprod has proved he means business this time by investing in an oh-so-SoCal tub of tobacco edibles that leave his breath tasting minty rather than like a wet ashtray.
Tobacco edibles such as Gernprod’s nicotine mints are a quit smoking aid that has existed for a while but often get passed over as they’re about the price of a cheap deck of smokes and they don’t allow you to keep smoking in the way vaping does.
“They’re just like a real minty bit of chewy,” stated Gernprod, who would be breaking the law of lying to a journalist if such a law did indeed exist.
“I mean you shouldn’t chew them, they dissolve funny, aren’t that minty and leave you feeling like you really need to have a toss or a dump but other than that, good edible.”
According to Gernprod, the tobacco edibles are working wonders and he hopes he will be able to stay off the darts for at least another additional 12 hours.
“I read this short story about this guy whose wife got electrocuted every time he had a dart. I’ve looked into it, it doesn’t exist.”
“Fuck, pass those mints again would you fellas.”