The new normal we were promised has turned out not to be so new afterall as the natural world that healed slightly during the spicy cough pandemic is back to its declining ways.

During the pandemic in 2020 and 2021, many communities around the world were forced to stay indoors, briefly decreasing the carbon footprint of everyone.

As a result, long suffering mother nature began to show signs of improvement as Venetian canals ran clear, whale songs were heard in cities and new shoots emerged.

Now two years later and in the midst of a somehow more expensive crisis and many things have returned to normal; handshakes are back, international travel is back on, nature is choking beneath the indifferent grip of mankind.

“This week we recorded the world’s hottest day on record,” stated climate scientist Dr Donna Liston-Toumi.

“Post pandemic, we thought it would take years for figures like these to return. We are well and truly back to how things were before; the planet is heating up and if it wasn’t for David Attenborough we’d likely forget about it most of the time.”

When asked what small things ordinary people can do to prevent climate change disasters, Dr Liston-Toumi laughed so hard she set off a fire alarm and frightened children in the daycare centre next door.


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