It has been confirmed that you can probably give a Betoota hinterland town a miss as the presence of a bike shop solidifies the place as an absolute bore-zone.

Just 40 minutes out of Betoota, Kilby Vale was once the hidden gem of greater Betoota renowned for mountain views, artisan shops and how everyone passing through has to slow down to like 50 kms even when they’re just passing through.

These days the charm of Kilby Vale has worn a little thin as former visitors now acknowledge the town is not really idyllic, it’s just a little greener and colder than the town’s surrounding it and the artisan shops don’t actually sell anything you can use.

Perhaps the biggest clue that Kilby Vale will no longer be gracing the pages of Time Out Betoota is that a bike shop/cafe successfully operates in town as a subtle reminder/warning sign that all chat will be about bikes.

“Hmmm, maybe we’ll just get coffee at Maccas,” stated one holidaying mum, driving her family through Kilby Vale for the last time.

“I’m locking the doors, roll your windows up kids.”

The travelling family then found themselves going 20 km in a 50 km zone as they drove behind a group of cyclists, who are well within their rights to be using the road but fuck’s sake why now and why me.

“Hold the wheel for us would you babe? I’m giving this town a one star review.”


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