ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A politely young local man who goes through life trying not to offend anybody has revealed himself to be a ‘political centrist’ this afternoon – something he feels releases him from having any real opinion on any topic whatsoever.

Arlo Shaw-Mathewson’s birth privilege, he says, means that he’s never been on the losing side of politics – and that no matter who’s in The Lodge, his life will go on unaffected.

“I can see the folly in both sides of politics,” said the 28-year-old keen sailor.

“Bill Shorten is just a trade unionist puppet and the Prime Minister would throw his dog under a light rail car before he gave up the top job. I’m in the middle,”

“I’m a centrist because I want the ability to remain totally unaccountable for my opinions, some of which can be misconstrued as being politically incorrect. Life is actually pretty good right now.”

However, after Malcolm Turnbull seized power from Tony Abbott just under three years ago, the young trader’s political and social views became much more progressive according to close friends.

One pal told The Advocate that the former Young Liberal went from supporting a regressive tax system and welfare cuts to being a supporter of same-sex marriage and public housing in the space of a week.

“That was when Malcolm got in,” said the friend.

“But when Malcolm had to get a bit more conservative and toe the company line a bit harder, Arlo was a bit lost at sea after that,”

“Then he came back from a gap year working at a ski resort with a refreshing, centrist outlook on life. But yeah, he doesn’t really have much to say anymore.”

More to come.


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