ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A marginally employed local creative has taken time out of his busy afternoon of job seeking and borrowing money from his parents to speak to The Advocate about his experience trying to pay bills with exposure – the currency he’s been repeatedly been paid in for all his creative endeavours thus far.

“It’s been hard,’ said Gaige Willmott, a recent graduate of a controversial French Quarter acting school.

“I’ve got exposure coming out my ears, I’m basically the Twiggy Forrest of exposure at this point. This wouldn’t be a problem, except nobody accepts it as a payment for a good or service,”

“You’d have a better chance finding a place that accepts Diners Club. Earlier this week, I tried to pay an outstanding phone bill with exposure and the operator just laughed and said I’d been exposing my brain to too many drugs. I don’t know what to do? Do I ask to be paid in Australian dollars next time? Do people pay creatives money in this day and age?”

At a loss as to what he should do, the 26-year-old turned to his father, Glenn, who turned a humble pool building business into a national success story.

However, Glenn said that the advice he’s got for his son will not abide well with him.

“I pretty much told him to give up on his dreams, put a fucking tie on and go out and get a job,” he said.

“Suppose a lot of this mess is my fault. I indulged him in this acting and painting bullshit for far too long. But yeah, as for concrete advice, you can’t beat that,”

“These fucking Millennials, mate. What are they waiting for? A silver hand to come down from the heavens and make their dreams come true? I begged, borrowed and stole to keep my pool building business afloat in the early days. I made it on my own,”

“What really fucks me up is that he thought getting paid in exposure actually leads somewhere. One bit of advice my old man gave me was that you shouldn’t do anything you’re good at for free. I was good at digging holes, so I charged people to dig them. Simple.”

More to come.


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