ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister will open Question Time this afternoon with a plea to all Members that his special Religious Freedoms Bill be passed after he stumbled across a television show last night that “freaked him out”.

In a whistle-stop press conference today outside a Murrumbateman cafe, Scott Morrison said he was relaxing at The Lodge last night when he thought he’d consume some popular TV content in order to appear more in touch with young people.

“Can I just say that what I saw was absolute smut of the highest order,” he said.

“We had women, girls, kissing on the TV. I spat my double Milo pint with a maple syrup swirl out on the rug. This show, Euphoria, is why we need this Religious Freedoms Bill. We can use it to compel these smut peddlers like Stan and Netflix to stop broadcasting this type of thing,”

“The only thing anybody should be reverse cowgirling, whatever fresh hell that is, is the Lord’s love. I simply cannot believe that is allowed to be broadcast in this day and age.”

Mr Morrison went on to say that he was given the recommendation by the same former advisor who told him that walking into a hair salon and touching someone’s hair was a great idea.

“I can’t believe I have people on my staff who watch this stuff. Every unmarried person on my team isn’t allowed to have a bed larger than a king single. That’s how seriously I take this stuff, guys.”

The Advocate reached out to Stan and Netflix for comment but have yet to receive a reply from either.

More to come.


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