Prime Minister Scott Morrison says the government will send the Australian Defence Force into old people homes to ‘deal with the aged care issues’ that our nation is facing as a result of the pandemic.

Up to 1,700 Defence staff will be made available to ‘sort out’ the elderly Australians that are causing or poor government so much trouble by getting sick and dying just months from the 2022 Federal Election

Mr Morrison said ADF staff could not replace lost shifts, but could do other stuff.

“The Defence Force are not a surrogate workforce for the aged care sector,” Mr Morrison said.

“But they do and can and have provided quite targeted… support’

It is these comments that have sent fear into the hearts and minds of Australia’s aged care residents and their families, who already feel completely expendable in the eyes of the Prime Minister.

“What does he mean by targeted support?” says Betoota pensioner, Meredith Parkington (85), a resident in our town’s federally funded Lady Flo Home For Old Codgers.

“What does he mean by ‘sort us out’…”

“Is he suggesting that he’s going to have us executed by jackboots? It would make sense. He’s already left us for dead. And now he’s complaining that we are dying”

As Meredith points out, aged care residents around Australia have misinterpreted the Prime Minister’s push to send the army into Aged Care homes as some sort of culling program.

Another retiree from Lady Flo Home, Bronson Ambrosini (89), says that’s exactly what he thought as well.

“I feel like he’s never given less than a fuck about how we fare. It just seems like a logical next step that he would send young men in here with guns to give us a lead pill like we used to do to starving cattle during the millenium drought”

“He’s never given us reason to think he wants us to live. We’re just a thorn in his overhanging side”

“Just last week he referred to us as pre-palliative”

Health Minister Greg Hunt has only added fuel to this theory.

“Whilst we are seeing a decrease in the number of active cases, we do know that there are significant pressures in specific facilities,” Health Minister Greg Hunt said.

Mr Hunt said the ADF assistance was also “recognition that many aged care workers were fatigued, and could maybe use a little less work”

It is not yet clear what he means by that, as in, less shifts… or less residents.


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