EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Despite 7 years of strict monitoring of young people behaviour in the retirement belt of Sydney’s inner-east, it seems that even the Liberal Government’s staunch Hillsong Sharia (lock-out laws) was unable to stop the sounds of young people having fun in the middle of Australia’s largest international city.

So prevalent is this downright disgusting behaviour, that it’s said to be the focus for NCIS Sydney’s breakout pilot, which comes as the first international variation of the Emmy awarding show. Though a little on the nose, considering it’s a touchy issue for many of the poor souls affected, the episode is sure to bring worldwide attention to Sydney’s hidden pandemic and hopefully, result in some harsher action.

Inner-city Baby Boomer, Adam Quincy-Whitely (65), spoke to the Betoota Advocate about this issue.

“My generation never had it easy! So what if we decided to buy up four terrace houses each in the middle of Sydney’s rowdiest night strip. I shouldn’t have to put up with noise if I don’t want to!”

“I’m a Caucasian post-war Australian. I’ve never had to make a compromise in my life, and I don’t plan on starting now!”

A leaked script reveals the episode will feature a prominent King’s Cross nightclub, with the team tasked with finding the DJ booth and yanking out the aux cord. Forced to race against the clock before the neighbouring boomers succumb to noise induced epiletic fits, the agents are met with resistance from pesky partygoers, who selfishly want the party to continue – doing everything in their power to keep the music loud, and the bass down low.

This episode is set to broadcast sometime in 2023, which will be roughly the same time Sydney nightlife is due for another shakeup.

If you are also an inner-city Sydney retiree who spent every weekend in the sixties off your head on psychedelics but now can’t seem to understand people wanting to stay up past 10pm, you can visit either of the following websites to complain about noise:








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