ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though Kevin Daniels is currently in his salad days, that doesn’t apply to his culinary preferences.

The husky 28-year-old landscaper is having a choice group of friends coming around to West Betoota Queenslander of Durham Avenue this Saturday and he’s asking them to bring their own beer and meat – and to leave the salad at home.

“I’ve banned salad from the house!” laughed the Cancerian powerhouse.

“Keep that shit in the garden I say. I haven’t had a salad for months, not since I went to Mum’s for Easter and she basically forced it down my gullet. But this is my house, my rules. Fuck salad, I’m not a goat.”

However, a number of Kevin’s friends wish he would eat some salad – or at least brush his teeth from time to time.

Mark Collander, who’s planning on attending the weekend cook up, said that Kevin is visibly suffering from gingivitis – an inflammation of the gums, usually caused by a bacterial infection and easily prevented by proper diet and oral hygiene.

“When you try and bring it up, he just calls you a wanker and puts a burnt sausage on your plate,” said Mark.

“Not that I really care, it’s just have not to look at. It’s gross. Salad shouldn’t be banned from barbeques, that’s just fucking dumb. Without it, there’d be no acidity to offset the fat flavours.”

More to come.


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