LOUIS BURKECulture | Contact

Mother of six Jacinta Hunt (32) has gifted herself a taste of la dolce vita this morning by treating herself to a cup of tea and a slice of toast over the sink.

At 7:15 am, Hunt was startled to discover she had awoken from her own volition and not to the sound of one of her six children crying or fighting over whose turn it was to pick the morning TV shows.

“At first I thought I was dreaming. The house was completely quiet,” stated Hunt as she fought back tears.

Unable to get back to sleep due to the sound of her husband Joseph’s snoring, Hunt silently made her way to the kitchen where she made herself a cup of tea and a slice of peanut butter toast.

“I even spread some butter on the toast before I put the peanut butter on. It was like a holiday. In fact it was better than a holiday because I didn’t have the kids nagging me to buy them shit from a crappy souvenir shop.”

Hunt then went on to consume her toast over the sink as not to dirty any plates and save herself washing up later on.

“I would have used a plate if I wasn’t the only one who ever did any washing up around here. Eating over the sink is easier, plus the table is fucking filthy because Lucas hasn’t cleaned up his paper mache.”

Unfortunately for Hunt, just moments after she finished her glorious tea and toast, fifth child Rose (6) came into the kitchen and started to cry when she was told they were out of Milo.

This outburst caused a chain reaction in which the remaining members of the family emerged from bed and viciously fought each other over the last bowl of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

“Guess I’ve got to take the boys to footy now…At least I’ll always have this morning.”

More to come.


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