ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the smoothbrain city boys that took up the game of golf over the pandemic says being a leftie is makes finding quality used clubs much harder because only a small percentage of players globally do it in the inverted fashion.

Recently retrenched LinkedIn account manager Spencer McCullum explained to our reporter that he’s been stuck using a set of proper grandpa shovels because he can’t find any better clubs on Facebook Marketplace.

The 27-year-old self-described conservative is currently on the waitlist at Royal Betoota Country Club but as his father once had a period of intense sexual exploration and experimentation in the summer of 1976, his progress up the list has been slow.

“I can’t be seen to play Royal Betoota with a well-worn set of G25s and a Cobra F7? Can I? I need something that showcases just how far I’ve come as a player since July 2020. Something like a good used set of Mizuno Hot Metal Pros. Nothing too flash, I’d settle for a nice set of 921s. The only other leftie I’ve seen play at Lake Betoota Golf Course, which is a pretty much a Par 3 pitch-and-putt that’s essentially a glorified dog toilet by the way, the only other guy plays with a full set of hybrids. He has a 10 wood, too. He’s old as shit but somehow plays of 3.”

Spencer says the discerning amateur golfer who doesn’t have a rich, circumcised father to get hand-me-downs from usually sources their golfing implements from places like Facebook Marketplace or eBay.

“Being in the Simpson Desert makes the difficult even harder, in terms of finding left-handed golf clubs,” he continued.

“There’s a chronic shortage of [left handed golf clubs] on Marketplace. Being a leftie is tough.”

More to come.


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