MILES PAST | Motoring| Contact

GREG MULLHOLLAND PULLED THE nine-volt battery out of his garage buzzer so he’d have something to throw at the man who failed to maintain his automobile to the high standard that every man should.

As he passed Michael Limp, a 29-year-old commission-based printer salesman, he wound down the window of his Ford Trader truck and let it fly. With a dull thud, the battery hit the New Farm resident in the throat.

“Thanks a lot, you stupid moron!” screamed Mulholland. “You fucking idiot!” he added, while maintaining a death grip on the steering wheel, violently shaking himself back and forth in a rage.

“I’ll fucking kill you!”

Without allowing Limp the opportunity to retort, Greg was off into the distance – finally free of the shocking traffic jam caused by Michael’s incompetence.

However, Greg wasn’t the only person on the Bruce Highway north of Brisbane yesterday afternoon who was held up by Michael, the stupid cunt.

Thousands upon thousands of motorists were caught in traffic escaping the River capital up the coast for Boxing Day, with nearly every Queenslander taking the opportunity to give Michael a piece of their mind as they drove past.

“It was quite confronting, to say the least,” explained Limp.

“People were throwing things at me. It was horrible. This one psychopath threw a nine-volt battery at me and it got me right in the throat. It looks like I’ve got a hickey. Don’t know how I’m going to explain that one to the boss,”

“I got a flat tyre so I pulled over as far as I could to change it, but when I got back in to go, the car wouldn’t start so I had to call the RACQ. [laughs] Turns out you have to have the car in park to start it [laughs]. I’m such a dumb arse!” he said.


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