ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It was supposed to be a nice night out on the town.

Two glasses of house red, perhaps a two-sentence half-laugh conversation with a stranger about a parking meter. Dinner was also on the cards – for dessert, a comedy show at the Betoota Heights PCYC.

The night was Filip Doolan’s oyster and things could not be better.

His steak down at the Dolphins Club was perfectly cooked and the side salad was red onion heavy. Just the way he liked it. A dry heat lingered in the air and the 49-year-old had just the right amount of malbec sloshing around in him to feel like he was on top of the world.

But it all came crashing down about 40 minutes into John New Holland’s new comedy show aptly named: “I Used To Shoot Turtles, Now I Just Shoot The Water.”

“I’ve never been more offended in my life,” said Doolan.

“He tried to poke fun at SES volunteers and all the hard work they put into helping others. I’m sorry, buster, but that’s not on,”

“So I gave him a piece of my mind, that curly-haired fuck.”

For the record, the line in which Mr Doolan took offence to was as follows:

I reckon those SES people and the RFS compete to see who can do the least amount of work at a bushfire or flood. Like seeing who can lean on a shovel the longest without being told to do something.

Our reporter spoke to John New Holland this morning who said he doesn’t recall the heckling (as it’s known in comedy circles) but that’s probably because he got on the lash after the show.

But he did share some insights into the rare type of human that stops laughing and starts shouting.

“I mean, yeah,” he said sitting in his filthy Harrison Ford-style brown leather jacket.

“People like that can be good or they can be bad. When it’s like those old white men jangling their fucking keychains with all their fucken keys to all the houses they own, it’s usually good. I don’t remember the one last night, probably a good thing, hey watch out!”

“Ok man, I’m going to lie down. I’ve got two shows tonight and these Volleys aren’t going to wash themselves, alright!”

More to come.


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