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Federal Energy Minister Angus Taylor has decided to put claims made by dishevelled billionaire, Mike Cannon-Brookes, that renewable energy is cheaper than coal to the test during some free time this afternoon.

There is a virtual city that Mr Taylor has been building on and off now for a few months in Sim City 3000. He calls it Neuvelle-Goulbourne and the city of 50 000 cyber people is powered entirely by coal-fired power stations.

Out of interest, said Taylor, he decided to demolish the coal power stations and replace them with a combination of solar, wind and other forms of renewables available in the popular video game.

While it did cost a large amount of money and pungled Neuvelle-Goulbourne’s budget into the red, Mr Taylor said something strange started to happen.

“I didn’t get any irate warnings from my advisors that the city was experiencing blackouts and also no complaints about over-used infrastructure,” he said.

“Which, to me, was both surprising and sickening. The theory has legs. But it did cost a lot of money, but I was able to quickly offset that by putting a price on carbon, which generated enough money to offset the construction costs,”

“It’s truly horrifying that this Cannon-Brookes theory of cheap energy actually had legs. I’m a Rhode Scholar. I am an expert in game theory, this shouldn’t be news to me,”

“Or maybe I’ve just been drinking the Kool-Aid for so long, I don’t know what sugar-free Powerade tastes like anymore. If it’s good enough for Neuvelle-Goulbourne, it’s good enough from well-known shitholes such as Melbourne and Adelaide. We could test it there first,”

“When we win power back from Albo in 4 years.”

The Advocate reached out to Mr Cannon-Brookes’ family office for comment but was asked if we were the same journalists who once asked Mike to shout a round of drinks for our table of extremely intoxicated cricket fans at Manuka’s Public Bar back in 2016, to which our reporter said yes.

Mr Cannon-Brookes’ office then asked this masthead how get fucked sounded – then put the phone down.

More to come.


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