ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Three non-executive directors of embattled wealth manager AMP will step down ahead of the annual general meeting later this year in response to the Royal Commission’s shocking findings.

They have chosen not to stand for re-election to the board after the fallout continues to spread.

Legally, The Advocate has been slapped with a suppression order and cannot publish their names without the danger of being sued back into the 60s.

“We’re sorry for getting caught,” said one disgraced director.

“Aside from all the bomb-ass returns we got you, we now know that we got those profits for you unethically and for that, we are sorry,”

“To my colleagues in the banking sector, please don’t judge us. To the shareholders, please don’t abandon us for a far more ‘above-board’ wealth management service. She who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

The Advocate spoke to a local AMP shareholder about the continuing damage done to the company by the Royal Commission’s findings – and he isn’t too amused.

“The share price has cooled, that’s for sure,” he said.

“Look, I’ll level with you. I don’t really give a flying fuck what AMP does with my money. If they can keep it around 10% and lather me with dividends, I’m happy,”

“They could invest in nuclear weapons and cigarettes for all I care. All I want is for the car to work when I got to get petrol for the jet ski. If they can guarantee me that, then carry on being crooks I say.”

More to come.


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