ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
WHEN YOU’RE A PROFESSIONAL basketballer, you can often have your cake and eat it, too – even if you’re signed to the Betoota Heights Hawks.
South Betoota Polytechnic graduate Hamish Harveiham has reportedly signed what’s touted as being one of the biggest QBL contracts in the competition’s history, allowing him to splash out on the finer things in life.
“As soon as the money landed in my account, I bought Mum and bunch of those flash bananas with red tips and I got Dad the steak down the pub that isn’t the rump. After all they’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do,” explained the 34-year-old.
“Then I went a bit mad and bought myself a good car for a great price, giving me a few extra bucks to add a few mods.”
Rumoured to be raking in close $22k a season, the business grad said he can’t wait to see the look on his teammate’s faces when he rolls into training behind the wheel of his late model Hyundai Excel tonight.
“It goes like a shower of shit, but the brakes aren’t much bigger than jam jar lids. Dad reckons it should be illegal to have four drum brakes on a car like this. So if anybody steps off the curl, they’re going to die under this tonne and a half of Korean tin. So watch out, world!”
The Advocate reached out to the Betoota Heights Hawks for comment, but have yet to receive a reply.
More to come.
Meanwhile the league actually signs its marquee players for around $500 000 per season. Your article is about 10 years too late, champ.