ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After finding himself at a loose end with nothing left to write about for the weekend paper, Darcy Boyd, a popular columnist in the Sunday Advocate, has decided to pen his second thinkpiece on Millennials this year.

This week, he plans to go into bat for the younger generations, saying they’ve had it tough and they work hard.

But this comes after the first controversial piece he published this year in the January 7 edition of The Sunday Advocate which said Millennials and Gen Y were ultimately responsible for the death of the Australian dream.

“I think I’m going to call it, ‘Who Are The Millennials And What Do They Want?’ – that’s got a good ring to it. I’ve got two sons in their mid-20s of my own, both full-time-stay-at-home at the moment but we’re trying to find them work here at The Betoota Advocate,”

“That fact alone qualifies me to write on these young people. I’m at the coalface of their abject laziness and conceited nature. They were both offered copyboy positions but turned them down because they felt they deserved to start at a higher level. Why, I started as a copyboy here in 1967!”

“But they’ve done it tough. Expensive tuition fees, almost zero wage growth in their lifetime, hyper-inflated housing caused by foreign investment and tax incentives for elderly investors such as I. All this an more will be explored in my Sunday column so be sure to pick it up!”

However, he has to get it past The Advocate‘s editor, Clancy Overell, who said that thinkpieces such as the one Boyd plans to publish are starting to get tiresome.

Citing a recent incident that happened in the days after Boyd published his first article – where he was accosted by a group of South Betoota Polytechnic students and ultimately had a Sector 9 skateboard broken over his head – Overell said he wasn’t sold on publishing it.

“I’m not sure we have the insurance to cover this should the youth take offence to what he writes again,” he said.

“What if he gets knocked off like RFK down the IGA or something? That’d be on me and the sociopaths at Allianz insurance who cover his life. But I prefer the tone of this one to the last one. But look,”

“I’d get a Millennial to write a thinkpiece on Millennials if I could actually employ one long enough. I’m sick of getting six good months out of them before they resign in May and summer in Europe, only to come back and start pouring beers to pay the credit card. Just go to Port Douglas and shoot a few dolphins like I do on holiday.”

More to come.


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