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NAIDOC week is officially underway in both schools, community groups and workplaces right across the country today.

Both Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians have gathered to pay tribute to and acknowledge the achievements, contributions and ongoing sovereignty of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

However, for white people taking party in this annual observance, there appears to be an undertow of competitiveness – particularly in the public service.

As is also the case with January 26th and Sorry Day, NAIDOC is an opportunity for upper-middle-class migaloos in mundane government jobs to out-best one another with their up-to-date knowledge of the shifting language paradigms and political correctness, to make sure no one feels unsafe in these completely non-Indigenous workplaces.

Despite this, the term ’emerging elder’ is still getting thrown around in office meetings this week, despite the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander community making it clear at least a decade ago that they find it quite cringeworthy.

But you can’t fault them for trying. In fact, the only people you can fault are the people who aren’t trying – like one public servant from Queensland – who woke this morning realising he has committed the immortal sin.

Team manager for the office assisting the Premier’s assistant’s receptionist, Brent Beige (43) went even paler this morning when he realised he’d forgotten to order the red and yellow plastic bunting to drape around the meeting room this week.

This is the type of potentially career-ruining error that makes people think that deep down he is a white supremacist – and it’s put the fear of God into him. He didn’t event think to put up any photos of Cathy Freeman winning Gold.

Brent doesn’t want anyone to think that he doesn’t have any black friends, because he does.

Plenty of them.

There was that kid from that family holiday to Airlie Beach in 1992.

And the Torres Strait Islander lecturer he had at UQ in the mid-2000s.

And of course, that other dad that he hangs out with occasionally at their daughter’s ballet classes, who is Indian.

It’s for this reason that Brent moved quickly to assemble some sort of Indigenous imagery to put on the whiteboard at work today

“Welcome everyone” says Brent, as his colleagues begin rolling in to the meeting room.

“Happy NAIDOC” he says, gesturing to the poster of the premiership-winning 2014 South Sydney Rabbitohs that he stole from his 15 year old son’s bedroom half and hour ago.

“Glad to have the whole team here… or can I say… the ‘whole mob’…”

“Actually I don’t think I can say that. That brings me to my next point, have a seat everyone”

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