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An easily persuaded upper-middle class voter has today begun preparing for what could very well be the end of the world: the possibility of one line in Australia’s 25-page Constitution being altered to install an Indigenous Advisory Body within Parliament House.

Semi-retired roof tile retailer, Bernard Abetz (67) hasn’t actually met any Aboriginal people in his life, but he knows the REAL ones do not want an Indigenous Voice.

That’s according to the journalists on the television.

With limited access to free-to-air TV channels or reliable internet due to the same poor digital connectivity faced by a vast majority of rural Australia, Bernard has had to rely on Foxtel for many years now.

This means he has over 90 cable channels to choose from. And with the ABC, Channel 9, Seven, and Ten buried deep in the TV guide – real news is hard to come by.

Luckily he has a big button on his Foxtel remote that takes him directly to the 24-hour news service known as SKY NEWS.

With the official date for the upcoming Indigenous Voice Referendum locked in for October 14th, Australians right around Australia must ask themselves the question. Do they think the lives of Aboriginal people could be bettered by making politicians actually talk to Aboriginal people about Aboriginal issues?

Unfortunately, this fairly standard conversation that Australians need to have with themselves and their family has been completely hijacked by a wave of conspiracy and fear-mongering from a political class that would rather move back to England than share the esteemed halls of Parliament House with Aboriginal people.

With conspiracies of communist and globalist (Jewish) plots to use the Indigenous Voice as a mechanism to enslave white people and take seize their assets, the average Australian is struggling to decipher what the fuck is going on.

But not Bernard. The poignant and well-informed opinions of the expert journalists on Rupert Murdoch’s Sky News have given him the full run down.

That’s why he’s currently safeguarding his 5 bedroom family home with a pvc coated canvas, in case the referendum is successful and the acid rain starts pissing down.

That’s not even the worst bit, after that apocalyptic rain comes the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse who will arrive on his driveway to steal his grandkids and force him to work for the indentured wages of tobacco and rum rations while intentionally spreading smallpox throughout his community.

“We can’t even imagine how bad it will be if The Indigenous Voice is successful” he says.

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