RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

It has come to light that Qatar, the conservative Middle Eastern host country of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, is a complete piece of shit, culturally speaking.

At least that is what many of the most important homo-sapiens from the most important western countries have explained via social media and mainstream news over recent weeks.

Germany, UK, Australia, USA and the rest of the most important western countries in the world who have never done anything wrong have confirmed from their lofty position of cultural supremacy and divine right as world-thought leaders that their own cultural traditions and beliefs are more important than those of the backwards people from the desert.

“These sexist, homophobic, religious zealots are different! They have a completely different set of cultural values and wear different clothes. Fashion and cultural differences are not O-Fucking-K!” Tweeted a civilised westerner from a homogeneous European city.

If the views coming out of these important western countries are accurate, then Qatar should be destroyed for its insolence of having its own distinct, inferior cultural beliefs and values.

Yet in response to the barrage of superior beliefs and attitudes being slung at them from the more enlightened parts of the world, Qatari officials have ignorantly defended their cultural norms as if they were central to their identity.

“To be honest we feel a bit threatened by the overwhelming numbers of westerners who are acting like proper fuckwits,” said one softly spoken Qatari elder as he sipped a cup of tea in a dignified way.   

“There’s also some cultural anxiety resulting from these super weird foreigners who are here for the World Cup. They behave like they don’t have a shred of respect for our way of life. There’s never been more assholes in Qatar than right now.”

Indeed, it appears that westerners’ respect for the country is as low as it has always been, and as Qatari people continue to naively bring up western contradictions, the west’s resolve to disrespect them only grows.

It is hoped that Qatar can wake up and become the same as the more important and culturally superior western world before the US is forced to invade.

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