WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After a big few days of photoshoots, the Prime Minister of Australia has ducked off from Glasgow today.
Scott Morrison says he’s had enough of all this leftie hoo haa about climate change and emissions, and he’s off up north to explore some of his family tree.
“Put the fork up me, I’m done,” laughed Morrison in his best average white male bloke voice.
The man who has been berated for the last few days about the lack of action on climate change and lying to the French on the 90 billion dollar submarine deal, explained that he’s had enough of it all.
“I’m going to explore my heritage up at Loch Ness,” said Morrison, taking the allocated family tree leave time for his overseas trips.
“Last time around I went down the South Coast of England to this lovely little town in Cornwall to have a bit of a pub crawl and look for my ancestors”
Clearing up any confusion, Morrison revealed that he has allowed himself at least 5 secret days to go off and do whatever he wants on any international trip.
“It’s in my contract,” he lied.
“This time I’m going to the fabled Loch of Ness”
“My grandmother apparently had a cousin who set up a shop near the Loch after moving from Inverness,” he continued, in the trademark rich old white person’s mindset that values their family history above anyone elses.
“At least you guys can’t accuse me of lying and doing it in secret this time!”
“Anyway, I’m off, I need some R and R,” said the man who seems to hate being Prime Minister.
“Hopefully I spot Nessy ha ha ha”
More to come.
