ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Rudeboy-in-Chief Anthony Albanese has made a stunning declaration this afternoon before knocking off for the week, telling reporters on the tarmac at Canberra Airport that the national jobs market hasn’t been this good for a long time.
“Not since the, uh, Mighty Bosstones hired a guy to, uh, just dance on the side of the stage, has the jobs market been this good,” he said.
“Businesses are crying out for labour. That’s labour with a ‘u’ I might add [chuckles] Speaking of the Bosstones, the guy’s name is Ben Carr. No relation to Bob. He was, uh, hired to dance by the band because, he, was, uh, their mate and he was underage. So to get him in the pubs and clubs, he had to be a part of the band,”
“Personally, I would’ve just blown on a French horn or something. Anything but dancing! Yeah, uh, look. That’s, uh, the kind of prosperity that this country is undergoing at the moment. We want to grow the economy and to do it, yes we do need to mash more people into our cities like we’re trying to palm mash potatoes into a brand new tube of toothpaste. It’s just how the, uh, economy works in this country,”
“We dig things out of the ground and sell them to people who turn the rocks into warships that we have to buy submarines to mitigate the risk of. And we speculate on property. How do we keep the property prices high? By introducing more competition for the limited resource and just kicking the can down the road with the Chinese. Someone else’s problem,”
“Touch on wood [laughs and clears throat to sing] Never had to touch on wood! But I know someone who has!”
More to come.
