ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Scott Morrison, our Prime Minister and Bloke-in-Chief, has rolled his eyes and laughed at Dan Andrews overnight as the Victorian Premier posted a few pics of him enjoying a whisky on the rocks.
Speaking to Desert Rock FM’s flagship talk-back programme, The Brick Hour with Graham Brick, Scott Morrison said he doens’t know about these rich, inner-city leftie types but he enjoys his whisky with a splash of Pepsi Max like a real bloke.
“Oh mate, that bloody peanut down that Melbourne country has no idea,” he told Brick.
“Bloody fucken having whiskey, which is made in bloody fucken Melbourne, which if you ask this old bloody working class straight-shooten hard motherfucken son of a gun, isn’t a very famous whiskey region. What a fucken goose, cunt. A real Retrieve Goosen. Yeah mate, don’t know about that. Having boutique whiskey on the rocks like that, yeah no thanks,”
“Call me a simple man with simple desires, Brick, but I like my whiskey drowing in zero-sugar cola. I want the cunt to be more diluted than a National Party water policy. Only real fucken blokes drink their scotch with cola.”
When asked if he though Andrew Bolt, a well-known scotch enthusiast who’s quick to criticise anybody who doesn’t drink their whiskey neat, was a real bloke – Scott doubled down.
“Yeah, look, he’s a nice bloke but he’s got a bunch of pigeons flying about inside his head where his brain should be. Like, he says real crook shit but I actually do the crook shit. He’s a halfway crook, he’s fucken shook. Yeah well, call me old fashioned. Give me a New when the sun’s up and a Johnny and max when the sun goes down,”
“In the morning, laugh off the massive night. Do a piss in the shower that looks like sump oil out of a woman’s car and get back on it. That’s how I roll, Graeme.”
When asked why he was talking like that, Scott Morrison said his Bloke Advisor wanted to soften his rolly-poley Bronte Boy image with the high-visibility types.
“Sorry mate, but this is how we speak in the Real Australia.”
More to come.
