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Fidget spinners can apparently kill, maim and blind your innocent blonde-haired children, that’s according a growing community of teachers that want to murder the inventor of this new toy.
The top draw of teachers desks in classrooms across the country are gradually filling up, it has been reported. As educators confiscate the new craze of cheap plastic toy that brings joy to lives of our nation’s children who are made to sit still for 7 hours a day.
Local Betoota South Primary Principal, Mr Lombardo has already written a long, alarmist letter to parents in the school newsletter.
“Seriously. These things have the potential to hurt and possible kill kids. Don’t let them bring them to school” it reads.
“Deadset. Like, this one girl in American had to get surgery on her eye after a fidget spinner was thrown at her point blank by an older male student”
“These kinds of numbers and statistics I can’t argue with. I request parents stop letting children bring these to school”
Another wild theory made by educators is that the $2 dollar toy will create a black market amongst young kids who all own one anyway.
“I’ve seen Pokemon cards, Digimon, Tazos, Pokemon Go… I’ve seen it all” says the Principal.
“This stuff is the I’ve ever seen. It has the potential to kill everyone”
