ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Some exhibit bravery, gallantry and courage in the midst of battle – spitting in the dark eye of death and unabridged peril.
Others dedicate themselves to the service of others, showcasing a supreme lack of self-preservation above all else – whether it be on a battlefield in a far-flung nation or the charity down the road above a chicken shop.
Medals are a beacon of triumph, service and dedication that only a select few will ever be capable of doing.
And after abstaining from alcohol for five full days, a popular French Quarter advertising account manager is wondering where his one is.
Telling everyone just how well he’s been sleeping and how much his life has improved, Mark Dengue of Poon BBDO’s Rue de Putain office feels like this personal milestone needs more acknowledgement than just forced smiles from his desk mates.
“Can’t go to work drinks tonight because I’m off the piss,” he said.
“Five whole days. I reckon it’ll be easy to go the whole month. I reckon it’ll be hard at Splendour but I hate how toxic the drinking culture is – that as a red-blooded knock-about Aussie bloke I need a drink to socialise,”
“Seriously, this is the longest I’ve been off the piss since I was like 15. Somebody pat my fucking back. Jesus, what’s a man got to do to get some recognition?”
At the time of print, Mr Dengue’s employers have no plan to shower him with any praise for removing alcohol from his nocturnal activities.
And that if he loses the Ford account, he’ll be wiping their windscreens at a set of traffic lights before his head stops spinning.
More to come.
