ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The head of
The Australian Border Force, affectionately known as the ‘blackshirts’ by many in the community, say a malfunction in the e-passport system has meant thousands of passengers arriving at the border this morning have to be processed manually.
Speaking to The Advocate and other lesser local newspapers this morning outside Remienko International Aerodrome, the head of the Diamantina’s Border Force chapter tried to downplay the failure.
“Everybody knows that every Australian capital has shocking public transport infrastructure,” said Heinrich Chavez of Border Force.
“Even Melbourne. They might say it’s great but they’re full of shit. Anyway, this first taste of Australia for many incoming overseas tourists might leave a sour one but at least we’re setting the bar low,”
“If anybody has ever tried to plan a public transport journey across Betoota, they’ll know how fucked it is. The cable car timetable might as well be in Greek. The electric trolleybus in the French Quarter runs on Fiji time and not even Christ could predict when the medium-light rail starts and stops!”
“At least they won’t be disappointed when they finally get through the border and try to catch a bus into town!”
The Advocate reached out to the appropriate goverment department for comment but as there’s an election imminent, no department was willing to say they’re responsible for the border or immigration at this time.
More to come.
