CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The ABC has today pulled off the unthinkable.
They have found a bloke that looks and talks like a farmer, who operates a farm, and believes in climate change.
As the National Party signs-up-to-signing-up-to-a-plan to find a way to reach Net Zero Carbon emissions by 2050, the public broadcaster has spent the last fortnight looking for a farmer who is willing to clear his social calendar by openly showing his support for the scientists who think that burning fossil fuels at an accelerating rate for 200 years is actually not that good for the planet that they are trying to utilise for agriculture.
His name Scott ‘Scooter’ Poles from West Wyalong – and after a twenty years of wanting to believe the opinion columnists at the Daily Telegraph was telling him the truth, he’s finally conceded that the climate is far more difficult to negotiate than anyone in his family remembers.
He also doesn’t like the special treatment that the Nats give to mining corporations and intensive Chinese-owned cotton conglomerates, while fucking the small-time primary producers without a kiss.
With an election round the corner, and the Shooters and Fishers looking like a real fucken alternative, the 53-year-old has decided to speak up about how these bushfires, droughts and floods are getting worse – and that he’s inclined to believe the 99% of the world’s scientists who have been pulling their hair out for three decades trying to get our politicians to listen.
Scooter’s bold decision to go against the grain and call out the uselessness of these tax-payer-funded public servants in the Canberra Swamp has caught the eye of the ABC.
“Climate change is real fuck ya” said the cattleman, sparking a wave media interest.
Overnight a convoy of journalists left Ultimo and took off towards the Bland Shire like Mad Max.
“Oooh. Can we do an interview of you at the saleyards???” asked one reporter.
“What about you on a horse??” asked another.
“…like the Man From Snowy River? Actually would the quad bike be better? You tell us…”
“But do you have a bashed up Akubra? Our viewers won’t believe a farmer would be wearing a Waratahs cap”
While finding a farmer willing to speak out in support of climate action is not rare for the public broadcaster, it is definitely a first to find one who doesn’t look like he spends his afternoons getting blazed on a secret crop.
“You don’t know how good it is to find a farmer who actually works with cattle” one journalist tells Scooter.
“Most of the climate change farmers we interview are dreadlocked beekeepers or some sort of alpaca breeders”
“It really is a sign of the times that we get a man who looks so similar to Barnaby Joyce telling us that Barnaby Joyce can get fucked”
