LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The nation’s rugby league commentators have spoken, and That. Was. Finals. Footy.
After going head-to-head for the second week in a row, the two oldest clubs in the NRL with the most bitter rivalry faced off in a dramatically named sudden death knock-out match to the death.
With the Chooks once again facing their arch enemies the Bunnies, the wide world of sports had heralded the match like the second coming of Christ while at Fox, Matt Nable has worn a hole in his larynx in a hype speech-related injury.
It was certainly a match that surpassed expectations, with a record 7 sin beginnings, in a heated affair between two teams who fucking hate each other.
With all the fireworks between what other fans must indignantly call foundation clubs, ARL commission chairman Peter V’Landys has announced that the next season of NRL will just be Easts and Souths playing each other on repeat.
“Who doesn’t love a good location based rivalry?” asked V’Landys, temporarily forgetting the actual conflicts in the world.
“This is the greatest rivalry in all of sport, and quite frankly none of us can get enough of it.”
“That was pure mayhem, and pure entertainment yesterday afternoon,” said the NRL boss.
“It is for that reason that we have told the other teams to have a rest next year so we can enjoy these two foundation clubs belting the absolute shit out of each other eight times each weekend.”
“Plus, it would give a bit more time for the Dolphins to sort their shit out.”
