ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Productivity at a French Quarter sports marketing firm has ground to a halt this afternoon as The Undertaker made his return to the highest altar of explosive sports entertainment.

So much so, the company partners declared an emergency meeting after lunch to discuss what to do as their entire staff sat transfixed before the lunchroom television.

“We’re going to have to write the rest of the day off,” said Greg Altwood, a founding partner of Fist Piston Sports.

“Nobody is responding to emails. Meetings for the afternoon have either been pushed back or rescheduled. Somebody has ordered Pizza Hut – which has subsequentially been scoffed by the sales blokes – so there no use to anybody this afternoon,”

“I don’t see any way past this other than just let them watch it or if they don’t like wrestling, get them to clear their desk and call the union rep because they’re fired.”

Margot Davis, an account coordinator at Fist Piston, said that while she doesn’t particularly watch wrestling week-to-week, when Wrestlemania rolls around, she always makes time.

The 24-year-old compared it to the Melbourne Cup and the AFL Grand Final.

“There’s a bit of a carnival atmosphere here right now. Everybody loves The Undertaker. He’s like the UnderDog, if you get me,” she said.

“I don’t even know what’s going on but the sheer spectacle of the thing is incredible. It’s just so entertaining,”

“The only thing that’d make it better would be a surprise appearance from Conor McGregor. Imagine Conor suplexing Dana White through a table? How mad would that be?”

More to come.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here