A strange text has a local man asking the big questions today, as he attempts to decipher why a random ex-colleague still has his number.

Parked up on the couch catching up on some episodes of Yellowstone, local sales manager Kyle Jameson (33) is spending the first day of January like many others around the nation, nursing a sore head and failing to get his year off to a healthy start.

But as he polishes off the final few crumbs of sweet chilli delicacies from his prized bag of Red Rock Deli Chips, Kyle’s midday TV binge was interrupted by the buzz of his phone, and the arrival of an awkwardly long text message.

Scanning his eyes over the elaborately long block of text, which is punctuated by the odd emoji and final line “Wishing You The Happiest Days in The Year Ahead xo”, Kyle realised that he’s been sent a New Years message from an old colleague that he hasn’t spoken to in three years.

A dense text which appears to be a pick-n-mix of lines from a Hallmark card, Kyle’s bewilderment was made all the more serious when he figured out the text must be a cut and paste job.

“Honestly, who the hell sends these,” asked Kyle, his greasy fingers scrolling through the iMessage on his phone.

“I didn’t even realise I still have Jenny’s number, I haven’t worked with her in years!”

“And how many people did she send this too, I didn’t even know you could do a ‘Send All’ job on an iPhone, trust a boomer to figure out a feature that no one else uses.”

“That Jenny, she really is one of a kind.”


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