The token short fella in a local group of mates has told The Advocate today that jokes about his stature aren’t annoying because they get under his skin, but because they are just not funny.

Lukas Rowlands, who nudges a touch over 170 centimetres, has copped a fair amount of shit over the last 10 or so years and has just about had enough.

“It’s bullshit. It’s not funny, it’s not good banter, it’s just shit low hanging fruit and I’m over it.”

“Like how is picking on a bloke for something he has no influence over good chat? Go on riddle me that? Those fat cunts that rip me can go and lose weight but I can’t make myself taller can I.”

When we pointed out that it seemed as though his friends had in fact got under his skin by doing things like informing him that he could have been a jockey, Rowlands snapped.

“Fuck off. They haven’t gotten under my skin. It really doesn’t bother me. Just drop it. Don’t you cunts have something better to do? Leave me alone.”

Whilst he assures us otherwise, it does seem as though Rowlands does have an issue with his friends  reminding him that he can’t really play any position on the footy field other than halfback.

House mate and close friend Phil Johnson confirmed that Rowlands 100% has a problem with short jokes.

“It’s not even worth it anymore honestly. I try and avoid pasting him on the subject cause he just spends the next half hour plotting how to embarrass me in front of the boys.”

Rowlands girlfriend Jacelyn Crowe said that he used to find the flirtatious jokes about her being taller than him funny before they started dating, but she very quickly realised to drop them.

“Yeah he would visibly go quiet and didn’t speak to me for a few hours after I offered him my heels,  so I dropped the horseplay.”



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