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“I mean, there’s just no way I could condone what he’s done,” he said.

“He took money for an interview as a sitting Member of Parliament for Christ’s sake! The whole thing smacks of democratic failure. Did I watch it? God no! I tuned into the new David Attenborough documentary on Tasmania! It was amazing,”

“Especially that shit with the glow worms things in the cave? Huh? Imagine being on mushrooms and seeing that.”

Bryce Porter even has the glasses to match his personality.

Thick, black but ultimately redundant.

Many in the boutique, small law firm he works at have the suspicion that the 34-year-old doesn’t even need glasses, he just wants to be taken seriously.

Something he punctuates on the hour as he spins around in his chair to tell yet another coworker that he chose to boycott Seven’s Barnaby Joyce interview – for personal reasons.

But, he concedes, the only reason why he chose to boycott the interview was that he heard someone he regards as being learned say they were going to.

“One of our partners is a serious genius, like she’s done shit in the High Court before. She told me last Friday that she wasn’t going to watch it because nothing new was going to come to light. Then she told me about the new Attenborough doco, so I tuned into that,” he said.

“Then after that was over, I picked up and book and curled up on the couch listening to jazz. I think the notion that the Joyce interview was just ‘bogan bait’ and a ‘ratings coup’ is a correct one.”

Our reporter breathed out heavily and clicked the recorder off.

More to come.


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