EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Melbourne bloke has caught a once in a lifetime lucky break today, after waking up with an extremely sore head from enjoying Melbourne Cup festivities until 5am.

Based in Glen Waverley, the bloke, who wishes to use a fake name, told The Advocate over the phone that he was severely dreading going to work this morning, having spent roughly 15 hours on the bags and grog last night.

However, after reading news that the majority of Melbourne public transport relies on the Optus network, ‘Ian’ says he began ‘concocting a plan.’

“It takes me a solid hour to get to work on a good day”, he explained, “and I wasn’t too keen on calling an Uber.”

“Though I think the Uber network might rely on Optus too…”

Ian says he got his wife to contact his boss on his behalf, to say that he was ‘really sorry but he couldn’t make it in today’ and that ‘his Wifi uses Optus so he can’t work from home either.’

“I imagine this is what American kids feel like whenever there’s a snow day that stops them from going to school”, laughs Ian, “I was not fit for the public.”

“Someone was really looking out for me today”, he adds, as though there is some kind of benevolent gambling angel, “Optus says ‘yes’ to a day off!”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here