A simple insurance query turned into an hours-long ordeal for hapless customer Eva Stephens; or at least it would have if it weren’t for the reassuring recorded voice reminding her how important her call was.

“I was starting to think that I was just another number on an automated call routing system staffed by soul-less underpaid automatons counting down the hours until they finally land a better job, but the recorded message telling me how important my call was really perked me up” enthused Eva.

Although expecting to wait a while due to the recent spate of bullshit weather events, Eva was hoping to find out relatively quickly whether her policy covered electric motor fusion, and was hoping to fit the call into her 30 minute lunch break.

After 5 minutes of watery jazz music, Eva was greeted by a friendly female voice who thanked her for calling; however, after starting to explain her query she realised the voice was actually a recording which went on to explain how important her call was and how it would be attended to as soon as possible.

“I thought, yeah, I guess my call is pretty important. After all, it’s my patronage that pays for the policy that supports the company that outsources the call centre to a low-wage country, so I can see why my call is so important” explained Eva.

“I am supporting a whole micro-economy here. If they don’t speak to me soon, my complaint could be the tipping point which shuts down this whole operation. No wonder attending to my call in a timely manner is so critical”.

Secure in the knowledge that her status had been suitably recognised and appreciated by the corporate machine, Eva was appreciative of the fact that the call centre must be dealing with a dire emergency of the highest order to prevent her important call from being immediately attended to.

For this reason, she graciously endured another 2 hours and 35 minutes of watery jazz music, permeated with the recorded voice every 2 minutes, until the system malfunctioned and her call was unexpectedly terminated.


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