ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A person that works in an office doing something with a computer has become in ire of his colleagues this afternoon because he refuses to speak about anything other than the NFL starting today.

Making things worse for himself, Michael Leary even brought his ‘pigskin’ from home today and simply refuses to stop playing with it.

“So pumped to see my 49ers play when I get home,” he said.

“I’ve recorded it. So people, Nobody spoil the result for me! [laughs] that means you Damien, you big jerk! [laughs] Pumped for this season!”

The Advocate spoke to more than one of the 34-year-old’s coworkers, who all said that Leary isn’t the most popular bloke at the best of times – but now that his identity crisis has grown to include supporting an American football team, he might as well have leprosy.

Amy Dunkert does office-related work in the same office as Michael, she sits right behind him as a matter of fact.

“He’s been throwing that ball up in the air all day and telling people to ‘go long’ while he goes to throw the ball,” she said.

“It’s amazing he hasn’t broken anything yet. I kind of hope he does. Hits a computer with that fucking ball of his so the boss’ll blow up at him,”

“What kind of red-blooded Betootanese man actually watches that glorified game of cricket. All they do is stand around in pads and run for 10 seconds at a time. Dumb sport. Very dumb. I’m too busy to keep talking about NFL, this interview is over.”

More to come.



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