The curator of one of Betoota’s finest suburban lawns is struggling to get to sleep tonight as the thought of some unfinished edges haunt his dreams.

Stephen Kennards (42) of 45 Webcke Crescent in Betoota Heights has been impressing fellow lawn enthusiasts this year with his expertly manicured front lawn, a grass carpet so lush it resembles green velvet.

Used to dedicating countless hours on his weekends to the patch of grass outside his cul de sac palace, The Advocate understands an unfortunate family emergency this weekend meant Stephen didn’t have time to finish his edges, and will now have to spend the entire week staring back at the rushed job.

“Yeah I ran out of time, one of the kids almost broke their neck falling out of the cubby house, they needed to go to the emergency ward right when I was halfway through the edging. I had to put tools down and get to North Betoota hospital ASAP,” Stephen told our reporter.

“It was quite a frightening ordeal if I’m honest, I almost had to leave a few strips unmown!”

Asked when he’d find time to fix the current eyesore hanging over his street gutters, Stephen said he might have to negotiate some time off work.

“Yeah look, feigning a sickie on Wednesday might have to be on the cards, or maybe I tell them my kid needs to go into surgery, either way those edges are so uneven I can’t let them grow into next weekend can I?”

“To be honest my boss is into a bit of lawn porn himself, I think he’ll understand if I need to take a cheeky half day to balance the front verge out.”

More to come.


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