ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Not even his partner-of-four-years is safe from Dale Packham’s method of organising his phone contacts.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning about the contents of his mobile telephone, the 27-year-old builder said it got too complicated having every ‘fuck head architect’ and ‘dumb cunt concreter’ save in his phone with their real names.

So he came up with his own system.

“At the Betoota Heights job, I’ve got John Tiler saved in my phone. Alex Plumber, Lance Brickie, Mike Sparky and Lewis Bunnings. It just makes it easier, so I changed every contact in my phone to follow that model,”

“So my girlfriend is saved as Kate Girlfriend. Mum is Jennifer Mum, Dad is David Dad and my Brother is Brother Sam, even though he’s not a predatory Catholic educator. It just works for me.”

However, after talking to our reporters regarding this method of organising phone contacts, our reporters were able to ascertain that nearly every tradesperson in town does the same thing.

In fact, Mr Peckham is saved in one tiler’s phone as ‘Dale The Cunt Foreman’ while a popular local engineer has him saved as ‘Dale Dumb Builder’ in his.

“You just meet too many people on the job to have them saved properly,” he said.

“I don’t expect you hydroponic office slaves to understand. Get some sun fuck boys.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here