EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local woman has today reached breaking point after yet again failing to remember who the fuck her friend is talking about.

Mikayla Howard [24] is alleged to have suffered through a weekly ambush of dating updates by her friend Liz, who’d been single and sad about it for roughly one year.

Having only just remembered a few key main characters, including ex boyfriend Jordan and on again off again fling, Sean, Mikayla had struggled to keep track of all the other blokes Liz had shown interest in or gone on dates with – and this is coming from someone who has a very in depth knowledge of the Marvel cinematic universe. 

It’s alleged Mikayla received an excited voice message from Liz that night about a bloke named Josh, bracing herself for what is sure to be an onslaught of messages.

“So Josh reached out to me, randomly.”

“Who’s Josh?”

“The guy I went on a date with a few months ago.”

“Which one?”

“The one that was rude and didn’t respond to me after I organised a date.”

Scanning through her memory files of blokes that were rude to Liz, Mikayla still finds herself failing to recall a standout.

“The one who asked you out at the cafe?”

“No hahaha, you remember that guy that was a friend of a friend of my ex? I ran into him that night we were hanging out with Lauren at The Shifty Hen. You were chatting to his friend in the smoker’s area.”

Still unable to remember and at the point where she’d long lost interest, Mikayla answers with a ‘oooh yeah that guy’ before chucking in a few appropriate reactions here and there.

More to come.


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