As the unenviable task of trying to get on with things continues for members of flood-affected communities, a reminder about our insurance companies has been issued.

Despite the lovely ads that are spattered across TV, confirmation has come through that insurance companies are actually cold-hearted money-grabbing private entities.

“Yeah, they aren’t actually that smiley and friendly in real life,” sighed a Broadwater-based nurse who is trying to manage shifts at a hospital in Northern NSW while trying to clean up for an event that’s just become a national emergency.

“I got home insurance a few years ago after seeing one of those ads with the nice acoustic guitar and the helpful insurance agents helping people picking up the pieces from a natural disaster,” said the mother of two.

“They looked so friendly and kind, and talk about protecting me so I signed up.”

“But talking to the customer service representative, I realised it isn’t all sunshine after the flood and insurance payouts.”

This comes as a wave of people prepare to be fucked over by their insurance companies.

The Insurance Council of Australia has revealed that 107,844 claims have been lodged over the floods in NSW and southeast Queensland, estimated to be worth $1.62bn.

Speaking to us about her claim, the Broadwater nurse explained that she is one of those people who is going to be let down once again.

“I don’t know why I do it to myself,” she sighed.

“Turns out my comprehensive home and contents cover me for storm cover, rain and stormwater damage, and water damage.”

“But that’s all separate to flood damage, which wasn’t in my policy.”

“So, that’s great.”

“Just fucking awesome actually.”

“Awesome that it had everything else but not that.”

“Don’t give me the fine print shit.”

“I’m not in the mood.”


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